A little about me:


I'm 32 & married to the most amazing man, Eddie who is 30. I have a 14 year old daughter from a previous relationship (although Eddie has been her Dad since she was 6). I was 17 when I had her. Eddie and I were married in November 2012 and are now expecting a son in October 2014! We had a bit of a journey for one year trying to conceive our son - I'm sure that someday I will share all of our trials, but for now I'm just going to bask in the joy that we are able to have a child!
It has been 14 years since I have experienced pregnancy and raising a baby so it kind of feels like the first time all over again.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Best job ever.


Kind of funny that he spit up all over my "best job ever" tee. 🙃
He's smiling in this pic but he was just screaming for 10 minutes before this. I pulled over to nurse him in the front seat. Right after this Eddie started crying which woke Ricky up and made him scream for the next 10 minutes home. When I got home both kids were screaming. I put Eddie in his crib and then got Ricky from the van. Eddie cried/yelled in his crib for an hour while I was trying to get Ricky to eat and sleep. Eddie finally fell asleep. Now Ricky is awake again. Sounds miserable, right? It kind of is when I'm right in the middle of those hard moments, but not all the time. Plus, it won't be like this for long. These moments might be hard but they also come with all the sweetness of having little babies/kids. For all of the hard times I have been blessed with many, many, many more joy filled times. I am lucky and blessed. A lot of people would give anything to be able to experience my good and bad times with my babies. I might have cried today, but I also laughed at Eddie being funny and smiled at Ricky being so sweet. 
Finding my silver lining.


This picture was yesterday when Eddie had a meltdown over me taking off his pajamas. He wouldn't stop screaming so I put his pj's on over his clothes. Ha! Problem solved.

Kaina is such a huge help! 


Eddie loves his baby, but he's also having a hard time adjusting to him not being the baby. 








Thursday, June 2, 2016

HellRaezer...


Our little hell Raezer (aka Ricky), was born 6/2/2016 at 5:18 am! 
He's so perfect <3 
Like, serious. ;-)
Where to begin.....
This pregnancy was a little rough from the beginning. Lots of worry over miscarriage, baby's health and my health. I hate the fact that I have high blood pressure :-/ 
Anyway.
This pregnancy was hard. I think it's because I was chasing Eddie around too. 
(Hard to see, but this is right after he was born)
Ok, so Monday night I started feeling contractions that were a little intense but not bad compared to what I knew they could be. They were strong enough to keep me up for two hours monitoring them. Tuesday I had a dr appointment and my BP was slightly elevated. So my dr decided to schedule me to be induced at 39 weeks (6/6). He checked for dilation and I was only 1.5. Then he did the membrane strip (ugh! Super painful).
I was contracting off and on all day Tuesday. I also made this "labor inducing" eggplant Parmesan. Well, Eddie made it because I felt so bad. Tuesday night I barely slept because I was having contractions every 10-15 minutes all night long. Wednesday I woke up and still felt crampy. I had a few orders I had to get out so I spent all morning sewing and mailed stuff out. It's funny because I was like "ok, now that my projects are done the baby can come"... Then I came home and started working on another project. By this point my contractions were about 7-10 minutes apart. When Eddie got home we went to Costco at about 4:30. Walking around I felt like I really needed to start timing them for real. They were strong enough to make me feel like I couldn't walk at some points. They were about 3-4 minutes apart at this point. We got home and contractions were getting longer and more painful. By 8:30 I told Eddie we need to go to the hospital. We called my mom and she came over with Eddie and Kaina. We were admitted at 9:30 with contractions being 2-3 minutes apart and getting way more intense.
This continued on for what feels like forever! At 2 am I had the nurse check me and I was only at a 5. I was so exhausted and contractions were still 2 minutes apart. I decided to get an epidural so I could sleep. I finally got the epidural at 3 something and it worked for about 10 minutes :-/ then my water broke and stuff got real. The epidural no longer worked and I felt everything but had a numb left leg. Fast forward through all of the crying and me thinking I was in hell to about 5 am. The doctor came in and said I could start pushing. This was weird because I couldn't really feel the urge to push but I felt all the pain? Stupid. Such a weird feeling. I had the nurse bring in a mirror because I wanted to see ;-) fast forward 18 minutes and Ricky was born! I started bawling like s baby. It was SOO cool watching him be born! I totally recommend a mirror :-) That was honestly the hardest thing I have ever been through. It was awful. I guess that Ricky wasn't turned right - his face was facing towards my stomach and not my back. So with every contraction his back was going in to my tailbone. Also, they think that my placenta was tearing away and that's also why I was in so much pain.
If you're reading this and you're still pregnant don't worry! This will not happen to you. Ricky was just a little hell Raezer ;-) he wasn't in the right position to be born and actually was transverse/breech up until 36.5 weeks. He hadn't dropped when I went in to labor so that made it take longer too. And my placenta was up front so that's why it was tearing. 
Right after birth everything was great! I hated that I couldn't feel my left leg for hours. I would totally recommend doing a natural child birth. Of course, I'm only saying that because the epidural didn't work ;-) 
Alright, but after a hard labor and pregnancy this baby is a dream! Serious. He eats SOOO good and sleeps good too. I know he's only 2 days old now, but I'm thankful that these first two days have been so easy.
Eddie is such an amazing Dad and birth partner. I was literally falling apart during labor and he pulled me back each time. Reminding me that it was almost over and that we would see our son soon. I'm not sure how long he ran hot water on my back in the shower, or how many times he pushed on my tailbone. He was awesome and I think I would have completely fallen apart had he not been there. 
I'm so glad it's over and I have my baby!
This also cured my want to ever have another baby ;-) lol

Thanks all for coming on this journey with us again! I'm so excited to raise our little family and see what the future brings!
Love you all!









My mom was such a huge help for us during this whole pregnancy and stayed with Eddie the whole time we were in the hospital. :-) thanks mom!!







Almost forgot to mention the coolest thing!! Ivy Baker was born an hour after Ricky!! So super cool :-) 


Monday, May 30, 2016

38 weeks!!

The longest I've ever been pregnant :-D
Ok, so NOW baby can come. :-)
I feel 100% ready.
I'm a little extra uncomfortable but nothing I can't handle. I'm cherishing the good things about the end of a pregnancy because I will never experience these again. I'm even cherishing the not so great things.
It really is hard to wrap your mind around the awesomeness of creating another human life in your body.
Women are amazing. <3
I just can't believe that I'm already at the end. He will be in our arms in less than 2 weeks. I've had this hope that he would wait until June 1st to be born. That's in 2 days... 
I have gained 44 pounds this pregnancy. He better be a big baby ;-) 
He feels bigger.
His butt is constantly in my right ribs. I feel like he's totally ran out of room.
I have a 1/2 outtie belly button this time! I wish it popped when you were done, but no such luck since it happened over a month ago.
I have THE absolute worst heart burn I've ever had. It's awful. Ricky better have hair. ;-)
I don't feel nearly as emotional as I have with other pregnancies. 
I'm way more tired this time (probably because of Eddie).
I eat like crap and am addicted to Pepsi. (44 pounds.....!!!)
Little Eddie has started reverting back to being a baby. This all started about 1 week ago. He wants to be held and carried constantly, sucks on his two fingers, wants pacifiers and bottles, wakes in the middle of the night, won't sleep good at night but is taking long naps during the day, is very whiny and keeps hugging me and saying "awe".
He also keeps hugging my stomach and then saying "bye". 
He for sure knows something's about to change. 
I can't wait to watch these boys grow up together. Kaina is so excited for another tiny baby :-) she's the best big sister! You couldn't ask for a better daughter <3
Poor Kaina got impetigo :-( 
She's on the mend though!

I'm REALLY hoping the next time I post on here it's our birth story :-)

Until next time :-D


































Tuesday, May 24, 2016

37 weeks!

<<37 weeks>>
If I make it to 38 weeks it will be the longest I've ever been pregnant! Woo hoo! 
I went in yesterday for my 37 week checkup and everything looked good!
My BP was 140/90. Elevated but not bad :) I've gained 44 pounds.... Eep! 
I feel like this baby is going to break my right ribs!! He is always jammed in them! Before he was transverse/breech and his head would go in my ribs. Now that he's flipped and dropped you'd think he wouldn't be in them, right?? No. Now his butt and legs are up there. :-/
I am totally trying to cherish every moment of this last pregnancy. So sad that there won't be more babies :-( 
I'm trying to be excited for just raising my kids, but it's hard! I just don't feel done. Unfortunately, Eddie is totally done. Lol
Anyway :-)
So, yes. Cherishing these moments. Even the rib kicking ;-)

I have been terrified of going in to labor. First I was afraid of having him too soon because my BP is all over the place. Then I was afraid of having a c section for a breech baby. Finally I was afraid of the pain of labor again! 
I woke up this morning feeling ready.
I want my baby :-D 
I'm ready for all the pain, sleep deprivation and newborn sweetness.
I'm ready to lay on my stomach.
I'm ready to get out of bed without a struggle.
I'm ready to wrestle with little Eddie.
I'm ready to RUN again!!
I'm ready to be active again. 
I feel like such a sloth lately. :-/
I'm ready to lose weight!!
I'm ready to meet my baby and see what he looks like!

Dr appointment yesterday went good! I got the GBS swab, BP was ok and no dilating/thinning at all, but his head is low!
I have to go back this morning for tdap shot and another NST. 
I have an appointment Monday and my dr will do a sweep. 

So the plan is... There is no plan!
I just need to wait on this baby. When he's ready he will come. :-)
Eddie started calling him HellRaezer because he's being just that already ;-) lol

I feel all over the place. I think he's eating my brain!! I seriously feel dumb. I also am a hermit/homebody. I don't want to do anything but sleep and eat. This is probably a good thing if I am going brain dead. ;-)


36 with Eddie vs. 36 with Ricky


Going home outfit!!


Kaina and Bubba outfits :-)






35 week maternity pics :-) LOVE them!!!



Until next week ;-)